TORVINKRELLA – Page 3

Perfect Casualties

When a leader becomes consumed with the idea of what is perfect, it can cause a ripple effect of harm to themselves, their loved ones, and especially to staff and employees. This is because perfectionism cannot be contained. Like that burned popcorn smell that seeps from the microwave, polluting the air and everyone around it for hours after it’s been thrown in the trash, a leader’s preoccupation with flawlessness oozes into the fabric of the organization and lingers long after the leader is gone. One person’s relentless pursuit of perfection can set unreasonable standards for others, creating a near hostile work environment for the team. Everything must always be exact, not just according to the employee’s standard but according to leadership.

Furthermore, what the leader believes to be perfect may not even be known to anyone until what is submitted is rejected, often with great disdain or even violent repulsion. This is how some described the deep perfectionism of Steve Jobs, genius and late CEO of Apple.

[Perfection] pushed him to both hurt himself and others. Others have pointed to Jobs’s terse behavior with his employees. Some recalled him as “rude, dismissive, hostile, spiteful,” writes Gawker’s Ryan Tate, who discusses the manipulation Jobs used to “inspire” his workers. Yet, Jobs went beyond the pushy boss, who blows off the handle. “He screams at subordinates,” writes Gladwell and once told his public relations assistant that her suit is “disgusting.” He couldn’t handle anything less than perfection, and often took it out on others. (Rebecca Greenfield, “The Crazy Perfectionism That Drove Steve Jobs,” The Atlantic, November 7, 2011)

The double-edged sword of perfection caused both great success for the company and great harm for Jobs and those around him. At times, this maddening pursuit led to superior products developed in record time. On the other hand, his fixation with perfection created a lag in decision making, causing him to take weeks on mundane decisions like choosing a sofa or washing machine. (Greenfield, “The Crazy Perfectionism.”)

This is more than just a desire to be our best selves or to expect others to do well. Perfectionism is an absolute fixation on a vision of perfect and an unwillingness to rest or settle until that vision is realized. The obsession with an extreme version of excellence is so subversive, so cunning that leaders may not even recognize its possession until it’s too late. They may not consider their passion to be harmful until staff members leave or complain, close friends or family intervene, or they are consumed with the personal costs of depression, anxiety, burnout, or worse. Perfectionism in the workplace is often an attraction to those who like challenges, enjoy responsibilities, and frankly, those who like to win. These team members often subject themselves to torturous expectations leading to long days, late nights, and constant mental contortions just to please the exacting boss. While it can be argued that perfection draws perfectionists, calling their allegiance to the organization at the expense of other loyalties and commitments, there is no guarantee that these temperaments and pursuits will lead to any version of success. In these rigorous environments, team members suffer the collateral damage of anguish when decisions cannot be made or stress when actions must be taken to appease.

Perfectionism keeps leaders and teams in constant cycles of paralysis or frenzy, always plagued by the need to grasp an ideal that is consistently beyond reach. Both the leader and those who follow suffer the effects of poor mental health as the angst of decision making often leads to anxiety and depression. Even when they can see the damaging effects of perfectionism, some leaders cannot let go of their meticulousness and conscientiousness for fear of missing the mark or losing the competitive edge.8 They are afraid of messing up and worry that lessening of the pressure will lead to poor performance or a lazy embrace of mediocrity. As a result, these leaders may see their perfection as an organizational asset instead of a liability. They may see those who push against their standards as necessary losses instead of casualties, believing that the pursuit is well worth the loss. But what happens when the pursuit of the absolute divides and devours absolutely?

Perfectionism is a jealous, empty consumption. It leaves no room for anything other than a mirage conjured in our minds that will never truly be attained. It drives us to seek after it, to live for it, and to love it more than anything else. We pant for perfection, like dehydrated survivors in the desert, thirsting for its refreshing waters only to find ourselves lapping at the rough sands of reality. It pushes us to want it above everyone else and to sacrifice anything and anyone to receive it.

Because of the strength of its pull, the only way to correct perfectionism is to crucify it. We must nail to the cross that which seeks to engulf us. For some already held by the grip of the flawless, the fear of killing what we think makes us better can be overwhelming. You may be thinking, If I let go of this image of what is perfect, even if it doesn’t exist, won’t I succumb to imperfection? Won’t I give in to what is subpar? If I stop striving for what is perfect, won’t I cease to exist? This fear of falling into substandard living and leadership is a valid concern for those truly looking for another way. But to those of us who struggle to release the exactness of what holds us, God says, “have no fear.” The same one who calls us to nail perfection to the cross is the only one who is truly perfect. In Christ, we find the only true and loving image of perfection, and we can never reach what our hearts desire without him.

Jesus, fully God and fully man, is the only one who lived sinless among us. He set the standard for those who would follow so that we might be more like him. And just in case we were unsure of what perfection looked like, he gave some specific examples in Matthew 5. In a conversation with crowds and disciples, Jesus laid out what it meant to be perfect. It looks like being blessed in persecution and suffering for faith (vv. 3 12), being salt and light in a bland and dark world (vv. 13 16), fulfilling the righteousness of the law (vv. 17 20), refraining from anger and holding nothing against anyone (vv. 21 26), thinking no lustful thoughts (vv. 27 30), rejecting divorce and remarriage (vv. 31 32), making no oaths and keeping your word (vv. 33 37), not resisting evil (vv. 38 42), and loving your enemies (vv. 43 47). He closed these human impossibilities with one last command: “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).

But Jesus knew that none of us could ever reach this standard in totality. None of us could be and do all that he spelled out in this chapter, and certainly none of us could be perfect as God is perfect in and of ourselves. But what if Jesus wasn’t calling us to do something to be perfect? What if this text was not about doing but about being in relationship with perfection himself? Could it be that our proximity to Christ’s perfection would imbue within us rays of divine grace that would be sufficient for our weaknesses? In other words, it could be that Jesus was saying, “Come and be in deep relationship with me and I will give you grace that perfects your imperfections.”

Rev. Dr. Nicole Massie Martin holds degrees from Vanderbilt University, Princeton Theological Seminary, and Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. She is the Chief Operating Officer at Christianity Today and founder and Executive Director of Soulfire International Ministries. She is an accomplished writer and author, serves on various boards and councils, and leads the Grow Ministry at Kingdom Fellowship AME Church in Maryland. She and her husband, Mark, are proud parents to two amazing daughters.

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Change and the Power of Why

One of the ongoing struggles in church leadership is learning to separate vision from strategy, especially when leading people toward change. Too often, we focus on the how—how something will be implemented, who will be involved, where it’s going to happen—but we overlook the deeper question: why are we doing this?

If we don’t understand the why, we can easily lose our way. Whether we’re implementing a new ministry initiative or planting a new church, we must always return to the deeper purpose. That’s what moves hearts. That’s what brings lasting change.

The Theology Behind the Tasks

Back in the days before cell phones, during the early stages of church planting, I carried a lightweight notebook with me everywhere I went. I used it to jot down ideas and outline the functions of the church—everything from ushering and greeting, to children’s ministry and even parking lot coordination.

Each page in that notebook represented a different ministry area. But more importantly, for each task, I would try to write out a theology for why we were doing it. What does the Bible say about the way we welcome people? How should our values shape even something as mundane as parking cars?

That may sound overly detailed, but I found it grounding. When we rooted every form and function in biblical principle, we kept ourselves from drifting. We weren’t just copying what we saw elsewhere—we were aligning every action with a spiritual foundation. The form of ministry should flow naturally from its function, and both should be driven by the why.

Know Your People’s Capacity for Change

Another challenge we face is failing to fully consider the capacity of the people who will implement the changes we dream up. Vision without compassion becomes a burden.

That’s why my best advice is this: make haste slowly. Take the time to explain what you’re doing and why. Most change starts in the pulpit, but it must also filter down into smaller circles—first to your core leaders, then into the conversations they have with the people they lead.

The Pulpit as a Tool for Change

I was mentored early on by Robert Schuller. At the time, he led a church of over 8,000 people, what would eventually become the Crystal Cathedral. He once said he could “counsel all 8,000 people,” and while he may have been thinking psychologically as much as spiritually, there’s real truth in that statement.

We often underestimate the power of the pulpit. When you stand before people with a microphone around your neck, they listen. They trust. They believe what you say. That platform gives you a unique opportunity to shape culture and guide people through change—if you use it wisely.

One of the best ways to bring people along in a season of change is to treat your announcements like progress reports. Weave them into sermons if possible but state them clearly.

Start simple: “I’ve been thinking about something…”
A week or two later: “This is something we’ve been talking about as a staff…”
Then: “Here’s what we think it could look like. We’d love your input.”
Eventually: “We’re going to test this out.”
And finally: “Here’s where we’re going.”

That kind of transparency builds trust. It gives people space to catch up emotionally and spiritually. It invites them into the process rather than surprising them with a decision. More than that, it respects the tremendous trust that God has placed in you—the leader who speaks to His people every week.

Final Thoughts: Lead with Humility

Strategic change requires more than clever ideas or fast execution. It requires wisdom. It requires humility. And above all, it requires a clear and compelling why. When we lead with that—anchored in scripture, thoughtful about people’s capacity, and respectful of the pulpit—we guide our churches not just through change, but toward transformation.

Ralph Moore is the Founding Pastor of three churches which grew into the Hope Chapel ‘movement’ now numbering more than 2,300 churches, worldwide. These are the offspring of the 70+ congregations launched from Ralph’s hands-on disciplemaking efforts.

He travels the globe, teaching church multiplication to pastors in startup movements. He’s authored several books, including Let Go Of the Ring: The Hope Chapel Story, Making Disciples, How to Multiply Your Church, Starting a New Church, and Defeating Anxiety.

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Spring Closet Refresh

I just love a good spring closet refresh! There’s something about the weather changing and getting nice again after a long winter and wanting some new bright colors in my closet. I recently placed some spring orders and wanted to share!

red floral dress // sandals // Chloe bag

top // denim shorts // bracelet

white dress // necklace // sandals // bag

knit top // gray pants // sandals

yellow top // denim shorts // bracelet // Chloe bag

red dress // necklace // white sandals // gold bracelet

green half zip // pink shorts // sneakers

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When Mobilization Went Unnoticed

Did you ever stop to consider that at the heart of everything Jesus did was mobilizing His followers to do ministry?

I believe the purpose of the Church—the “big C” Church—is to equip its members to do works of ministry. This follows the Apostle Paul’s teaching that each believer is God’s masterpiece, created for good works. We are saved by faith but made for good works.

I spent much of my life as a pastor lobbying for others to plant churches. I was living under a couple of false impressions. The first was that church planting was a special calling reserved for a select few, as if God had called us to plant churches but not others. The second false impression was that I could pressure pastors into planting churches as a programmatic effort.

As I matured, I began to realize that every church is called to reproduce itself and that our effectiveness in multiplication came from perseverance in reproduction. However, as I continued to grow, I came to understand that disciple-making is at the root of everything we do. I then realized that if we didn’t first make friends, we couldn’t make disciples. Finally, I came to see that disciple-making begins before a person accepts Christ, not after. Friend-making and disciple-making are intertwined in a “follow me as I follow Christ” process.

Recently, however, I was taken aback when a friend described our disciple-making efforts as “mobilizing the saints for the work of ministry.” He said this publicly, portraying it as something heroic. Yet, I felt far from a hero because I hadn’t fully grasped the impact of what we had been doing so productively for so many decades. Honestly, I was embarrassed by his pronouncement.

In reality, mobilization has been at the heart of the simple disciple-making model used in the churches I started. We intentionally connected challenging teaching from the platform to the small groups in our church, which we called MiniChurch. The process was so simple that I couldn’t understand why other pastors wouldn’t be willing to give it a try. We even eliminated a “discipleship class” by relying on friends to disciple their friends. In our MiniChurch gatherings, we followed up on the weekend teaching by asking three simple but powerful questions—questions I have repeated countless times because they have been so effective and can work for others as well as they did for us.

We taught through the Bible, always striving to communicate in a way that resonated with a younger audience. We went chapter by chapter teaching with a simple and often humorous approach, aiming to instill both sound theology and a full understanding of Scripture. Every teaching challenged our members to action, which is why my friend observed that we were mobilizing the saints for ministry. But the real action happened in MiniChurch. We would gather around food and fellowship and then ask:

What did the Holy Spirit say to you during the weekend service?
What are you going to do in response to what the Spirit spoke to your heart?
How can we help you or pray for you as you seek to obey the Lord?

The power of what we did was in linking a mobilizing message from the pulpit to an interactive relational setting, where friends ultimately held each other accountable for what the Holy Spirit was speaking to their hearts. Without being overly mystical, we strongly emphasized the Spirit’s role in our midst.

As I look back on my life, I realize that pressuring people into planting churches did little good. Even focusing on disciple-making could hit a dead end if our goal was merely to develop strong believers. What we had actually done was link what was happening in church and MiniChurch to the mandate of Acts 1:8—constantly keeping the vision of reaching beyond our walls, all the way to other nations, in front of our people. We mobilized our members for ministry where they lived, worked and played.

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What We Find When We Ask, God, Where Are You?

There’s an account in Scripture, in the book of Acts, about the apostle Paul’s own dark night. Luke’s second scroll tells it like this:

Paul and his companions traveled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia. When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas. During the night Paul had vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” After Paul had seen the vision, we got ready at once to leave for Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them. Acts 16:6-10

Maybe you notice a repeated refrain:

“Having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word [there] . . .”

“The Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to . . .”

Paul and his crew were trying to follow their calling, their mission, yet God thwarted their efforts. God changed their direction. God stopped them in their tracks. God blocked their goal. They thought their feet would take them one way, but the Spirit of Jesus had other plans.

This passage of Scripture almost reads like a cosmic joke, a deistic pinball machine. God was obscuring Paul’s path, even as he was inviting the apostle to follow sightlessly. Paul was given a dream, a vision, but he did not have a map. Still, Paul took one step of faith at a time, while God moved him in unexpected, tedious, and seemingly ridiculous directions.

And yet.

What we see in Paul’s story is often what we cannot see in our own, especially when we find ourselves in the middle of an obscure evening. God is at work, even when the path is dim. God is doing something, something good, even when we can’t see clearly. God’s past faithfulness—in Scripture, in our own stories, in the stories of other fellow travelers—can give us something to hold onto when our own belief feels hard.

All along, God was awakening Paul from his former naiveté, exploding out of the boxes Paul had placed him in. God used this journey, in all its disorientation, to reveal that he works in ways bigger than the apostle might have imagined, in and through people he might not have imagined: in Gentiles and in women, outside the institution, outside the religious elite. Paul dreamt of a Macedonian man but was eventually led to Lydia, who became one of the first female leaders of the early church. In this way, God’s obscurity served as Paul’s invitation into an entirely new trajectory, one where he would co-labor with women for the gospel as he continued to preach that gospel to Gentiles.

Perhaps for us, like for Paul and his companions, every God, where are you? is a step toward greater goodness, meaning, depth.

I cling to my tentative hypothesis that in the night, we are being invited into transformation. But I can’t quite land on my thesis because the darkness doesn’t feel particularly helpful or transformative. Mostly, the dusk is presenting a harrowing question: Can I fumble forward in faith, even if I cannot find the place where God is hiding?

God is up to something, even as we search for him in the obscurity of dusk. But it’s something many of us weren’t prepared for in our spiritual formation or church upbringing. In his hiddenness, God is inviting us to release certainty, which is scary.

We are asked, instead, to embrace faith, which is scarier.

Adapted from What We Find in the Dark: Loss, Hope, and God’s Presence in Grief by Aubrey Sampson. Copyright © 2024. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries.

Aubrey Sampson (MA, evangelism and leadership) coplanted and serves as a teaching pastor at Renewal Church, a multiethnic congregation in Chicagoland. She also speaks regularly at churches and conferences around the country. She is an award-nominated author, a coach with Propel Women Cohorts, and the cohost of The Nothing Is Wasted Podcast. Aubrey is the author of several books, most recently Big Feelings Days: A Book about Hard Things, Heavy Emotions, and Jesus’ Love (October 2023). Her most recent title, What We Find in the Dark will release from NavPress in April 2025. She is passionate about helping hurting Christians find God’s presence in their pain. She and her husband, Kevin, and their three hilarious sons live, minister, and play in the Chicagoland area. You can connect with Aubrey on her website, aubreysampson.com, and on social media @aubsamp.

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Sephora Beauty Insider Sale Must-Haves

The big Sephora Beauty Insider sale begins TODAY for Rouge members!! This is one of Sephora’s best sales of the entire year — such a great time to stock up on your essentials and try some new products while they are on sale.

Its also a great time to buy Mother’s Day gifts, teacher appreciation gifts, and teen girl Easter basket gifts! Starting today (4/4-4/14) you can get 20% off everything and 30% off Sephora Collection items with the code: SAVEMORE. Below I’ve rounded up my Sephora sale must-have items!

All the items from my makeup bag from Sephora linked here

I am so obsessed with these new Summer Fridays JetLag eye patches! And this Summer Fridays travel pack is such a great value and convenient to have for trips.

Here’s a before and after I took of my eye after using the Summer Fridays eye patches! I’m so amazed at how much brighter and smoother the fine lines are!

Cody tried the eye patches and my mind was blown!! Had to share his before and after too. These eye patches are incredible and really work!

This Paula’s Choice Exfoliate is a must-have skincare item for me that I’ve been using for years now.

The sale is such a great time to stock up on lip products – these are some of my current favorites in my makeup bag!

Summer Fridays lip balm // Fenty Gloss Bomb Stix // Lawless The Filler Lip // Tarte Lip Plump Gloss

Wearing the Fenty Gloss Bomb Stix High Shine Gloss Stick here in the shade: Fussy

This Tatcha Dewy skin cream has become one of my most used moisturizers — I’ve repurchased multiple times.

Two of my favorite blush combos from Rare Beauty (liquid / powder) & Saie (liquid / powder)

Here I have on the Saie beauty powder blush I shared above – wearing the shade: Mia

My go to brushes for: brows // foundation & concealer // powder blush // liquid blush

I have on the Rare Beauty Blush combo in this photo and love it for spring! My favorite curling iron I used to curl my hair here is also included in the sale – I love the longer wand on it and it makes my hair so shiny!

My holy grail hair product — this dae styling cream is so so good!! Its a leave in conditioner, styling cream and heat protectant all in one

This O/S setting spray is a new to me product and its been worth the hype – I’m loving it so far!

I use this Saie Illuminator so much that I’ve reordered it multiple times

My Sephora beauty insider sale must-haves! What’s on your list? Xx

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22 Outfits for your Beach Vacation

I love planning outfits for and wearing resort wear looks almost as much as I love the actual beach vacation! The sunshine, beach, and vacation outfits make me so, so happy 🙂

I’m excited to share with you that I’ve rounded up 22 beach vacation outfits for you! I hope this is helpful for your upcoming Spring Break trips and for summer too!

Pink crochet coverup // YSL beach tote // bucket hat // sunglasses

yellow bikini // green button up // white sandals // white shorts // Chloe bag // hat // Ollie’s swimsuit

pants // red bikini // sandals // hat // necklace // bag (old-similar)

floral bikini // white pants // sandals // Chloe bag // necklace // earrings

long dress // bag // necklace // sandals

white pants // white tube top // Gucci heels (similar) // purse // necklace

black shell bikini // black pants // sandals // beach bag // necklace // earrings

pink swimsuit // pink skirt coverup // necklace // wavy bracelet // necklace //cuff bracelet

white dress // white sandals // hat // necklace // beach bag

blue crochet coverup // bucket hat // YSL beach bag // sunglasses

white dress // necklace // purse // sandals

long black dress // bracelet

white crochet coverup // mesh beach bag // pink swimsuit

blue bikini top // necklace

my dress // shell clutch // Mara’s set // necklace

brown bikini // skirt coverup // bracelet // necklace // hat

top // shorts // sandals // bag // necklace // colorful necklace

white dress // clutch // earrings

blue bikini // bucket hat // sunglasses

red dress // sandals // bag

black top // white pants // sandals // Chloe bag // necklace

colorful swimsuit coverup // bag

black swimsuit // denim shorts // YSL Beach bag // necklace // sandals

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Abercrombie MUST-HAVES on MAJOR SALE!!

I just got this blue dress and I’m in love with it. It would be the perfect wedding guest dress or event dress. The color is SO beautiful and vibrant – the perfect cheerful blue color for spring and summer! Its so flattering and such a great fit. With the sale happening now it’s under $150!!

I’ve been wearing and raving about these gray jogger sweatpants for YEARS! They are such a closet staple and something I wear multiple times per week. They are so comfy and great quality – they hold up so well and wash so well.

This black zip up hoodie is new, I had it in navy and loved it so much I got another color. The material is more silky-ish scuba material and super soft. I love that it feels a little more luxe than just a basic zip up sweatshirt

This gray scoop tank is another item I’ve had for years in multiple colors. Its such a great basic and something I wear all the time.

Abercrombie is one of my favorite places to buy swimsuits and when they are on sale like this, they are such a great price point for the amazing quality! They are thick and hold their shape so well and don’t fade. I am loving this brown swimsuit – the white line detail is so flattering and the top is super supportive! It comes in a cute one piece version too.

These cut off jean shorts are another major closet staple for me. I wear them ALL the time and they are such a great price right now with the 25% off! They are so comfy and such a great length for chasing my kids around. Full outfit linked here.

This green dress is so beautiful and also included in the sale!! It would make such a great spring or summer wedding guest dress or bridesmaid dress. You can wear it with the sleeves up like I have shown, and I also love it with one side hanging off the shoulder too.

I’ve raved about these straight leg jeans so many times– for good reason!! You can’t beat the under $100 price for such a great pair of quality staple jeans. I love them dressed up with heels or down with sneakers.

I just got these new denim shorts and I LOVE them!! They hold their shape so well and don’t crease – they are so flattering! They are a little shorter and more fitted than my dad shorts I’ve had for a long time, so a good alternative if you are looking for a different style. Wearing with my Abercrombie scoop tank!

It wouldn’t be an Abercrombie sale without me mentioning my family’s FAVORITE hoodies!!! My entire family wears and loves these essential hoodies. They are SO soft and cozy – they wash so well. I wear the mens size large for an oversized comfy fit!

Another view of my go to Abercrombie jeans in a darker color that included in the sale! Love these with no distressing- they are perfect dressed up with heels like shown here.

Wedding event dress roundup – these are all 25% off making them under $150 each!! They have so many beautiful dresses right now its hard to choose. These are perfect for all wedding events – as a wedding guest, a bridesmaid or rehearsal dinners and events.

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Community: From “Hosanna!” to “Crucify Him!”

Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem days before his death is recorded in the Synoptic Gospels (Matthew 21:6-10; Mark 11:6-11; Luke 19:34-44). All three provide details about Jesus’ story from the palms waving and cloaks on the ground to shouts of “Hosanna!” Often, we think of the crowd of the Palm Sunday sermon and the crowd in the Easter Sunday sermon as one and the same. While it makes for good preaching, synthesizing both crowds as one that turned its back on Jesus when he needed them the most, there is no empirical data for this. In our minds, our hermeneutics, and our beliefs, the same people who said “Hosanna!” also said “Crucify him!” Based on Jesus’ experience that week though, it didn’t matter. Whether it was the same people was not as important as the narrative in the community. It was their narrative. Whether it was one crowd, two combined, or even a whole new crowd, the gathered community was telling Jesus the current narrative about him.

I quickly learned I could not chase down rumors and lies about me and New Life Church. The old saying is true: a lie can circle the globe twice before the truth gets out of bed. Who said what is of no value in the investigation, but the narrative in the community is what matters the most. It was not the mere three words “Hosanna!” and “Crucify him” that killed Jesus. It was the narrative in the streets that killed Jesus.

Then the chief priests and the Pharisees called a meeting of the Sanhedrin. “What are we accomplishing?” they asked. “Here is this man performing many signs.” . . . “You do not realize that it is better for you that one man die for the people than that the whole nation perish.” (John 11:47, 50)

The narrative in the streets is what spurred the chief priest and Pharisees into action to kill Jesus. The narrative in the community will either grow or kill a church or organization. While ministry should not be orchestrated to the tunes of the narratives on the streets, ignoring them is not wise either. I learned the narrative about New Life Church was changing.

WORD ON THE STREET

Jesus had two years of popularity from the moment he turned water into wine to healing the man at the pool of Bethesda, then a year of opposition. Interestingly, in the latter year of opposition, Jesus was interested in the word on the street about him. Jesus wanted to know the narrative in the community. “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” (Matthew 16:13). Whether it is Jesus’ humanity asking the question or his divinity leaving breadcrumbs for us to learn from, the curiosity of what people are saying about you is a lesson God wants us to learn from.

The answer was quick in coming. Peter spoke up with authority, as usual, and was right and wrong within minutes. There will always be something said about you as a leader in the public forum. As with Jesus, it will be a mixture of truth and falsehood, but in both cases, Jesus was not swayed by public opinion. He easily put the accolades of men behind him. Even at the point of death in his dialogue with Pilate, Jesus is not moved by the people’s characterization of who he is and what he has done. Apart from the prophetic reality of the moment, this exchange could have saved Jesus if he was moved by the narrative of people, even powerful people like Pilate. But he wasn’t (John 18:33-38, 40).

New Life Church faced a similar narrative. The word on the street shifted from the moment I told the church the bank pulled out on us and then asked for $1,000 per family. That was a costly decision, though it was the right financial decision, because our balance sheet improved, but it hurt our narrative on the street. Choices in ministry are not always good, better, and best. Sometimes they are bad and worst. New Life was twelve years old when our years of popularity began to wane. The word on the street had begun to show signs of negativity two years before when key staff members resigned. The bank pullout was like the little boy who had his finger in the levee and then pulled it out and all the water flooded the village. It didn’t matter whether it was “Hosanna!” or “Crucify him!” or who was saying it. The shift was happening, and the storm was raging.

The narrative change can feel like being seasick. My first bout with seasickness was when I was at my first base as a chaplain. I decided to take the men’s ministry on a deep-sea fishing trip. I had never been on a rowboat let alone out in the middle of the ocean in a fishing boat. The idea was to get the men interested in the chapel service. It wasn’t long into the trip before I was so sick that I pleaded with Jesus to stop my swimming head, promising he would never have to hear this prayer again if he would just get me to the shore. The narrative on the street was a similar experience for me.

LEADERSHIP PRINCIPLES

One of the leadership principles that best illuminates the leader’s approach to the shifting storm winds of the community is a behavioral approach. This approach focuses in on the behavior or how the leader navigates public criticism. How does he or she show up when all eyes are on the triumphant entry of the church or organization? How about when those eyes turn from approval to disapproval? The behavioral response of the leader becomes paramount. The leader is in a petri dish and under the microscope at the same time. The leader’s behavior must include successfully managing relationships of the community stakeholders, church stakeholders, and church or organization members. Responding to every criticism can cause more problems than it solves.[1]

Church and community stakeholders are critical to carrying out the vision and mission of the church, but pursuing negativity only breeds more and keeps your mind on the negative and not faith. Faith comes by hearing God’s Word reverberate in your spirit. Standing firm in the face of an onslaught of criticism is a virtue that can help turn the tide to truth, sometimes without ever saying a word. Managing one’s criticism is a behavior followers look for and follow. Jesus is the prime example.

[1] Peter G. Northouse, Leadership: Theory and Practice, 7th ed. (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2016), 78-79.

Bishop Geoffrey V. Dudley Sr. (PhD, Regent) is the founding and senior pastor of New Life in Christ Church, one of the fastest growing churches in the Metro East area of St. Louis, Missouri (O’Fallon, Illinois). Originally from Goldsboro, North Carolina, Dudley began ministry at the age of thirteen, was ordained by the United Holy Church of America in 1986, and is a retired Air Force chaplain and lieutenant colonel. He is also the CEO of iLead Enterprises, a leadership development platform for staff and workforce development. He and his wife, Glenda, have two adult children who are both ministry leaders.

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Friday Five: Travel Must-Haves

Happy Friday!! We are on our way back from Miami and some of my must have travel items are top of mind. So today my Friday 5 list are all things I used and loved this week while traveling!

Friday 5: Beis luggage // black maxi dress // sunglasses // black travel tote // purse

Tortoise sunglasses: I’ve had and loved these sunglasses for years! They are really thick and sturdy feeling — they feel super expensive and they are under $100! I love the gold line detail across the top, it makes them look more luxe. The large size of them gives great face coverage from the sun too! They come in multiple colors. Love these!

Woven shoulder bag: This woven purse is so classic! I’ve had it for years and I pack it on every beach vacation trip we take. It goes with everything and makes the perfect vacation purse. I love the chain strap detail on it. Highly recommend!

Black Skims Dress: This long black maxi dress is another item I have had and loved for years. Its so comfy and stretchy – I pack this on every trip and love wearing it on the airplane. I love that its so comfy that I feel like I’m wearing pajamas but I look put together at the same time. The black is my favorite, its super flattering. I have and love the long sleeve version too!

Suitcase: These beis suitcases are my all time favorite suitcases. They are so sturdy and such amazing quality. If you travel freqently enough, they are totally worth the investment! I love how stylish all the different color options are, and the hard shell makes it so easy to wipe clean after traveling. I love this black beis weekend bag too! This full travel outfit and other beis suitcases I have and love – linked here.

Black travel bag: This Baggu cloud bag is seriously amazing!! I’ve used it on so many trips over the years and its held up so well. Its a great price point for how much use I get out of it! Its like jumbo sized and holds so much. The black color and material is easy to keep clean too.

Friday Five: Purse // Black Travel Tote // Sunglasses // Beis luggage // Black skims dress

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